Helping a Colleague

There is no right or wrong way to feel after a traumatic experience. Your colleagues may or may not want to talk about their experiences or feelings. This is OK. It’s important not to force people to confront the event or their reactions before they are ready.

Listening is very important, but it can sometimes be hard to know what to say. Don’t worry about having to say the right thing. Some tips:

• Don’t interrupt. Don’t offer examples from your own life.
• Avoid offering simple reassurances such as, “I know how you feel”, or “You’ll be OK”.
• Acknowledge their distress with statements like, “It’s really tough to go through something like this”, “This is such a tough time for you”, or “Sometimes it’s hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel”.
• Ask leading questions like, “Would it be helpful to talk about (the event)?” or “You’ve had a rough time, how are you going?” You might also ask how the event has impacted on other people ... “How’s Sarah going?”
• Show that you understand by re-phrasing the information they give you. Try starting with something like, “You seem really...”, “It sounds like...”, “Did I understand correctly that you...”, “No wonder you feel...”.
• If they don’t want to talk, you can still show your support by spending time with them, and talking about other things.